Sexual Assault 


What to Do If Someone You Know Is Raped

If someone you know has been raped, you can get help by calling the Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE.  

There is a good chance that you may know someone who has been raped.  One in every six women will be raped at some point in her lifetime.  And though most rape victims are women, men can be raped too.  Here is what you can do if someone you know says, "I was raped..."

Believe your friend.
     Rape is when one person forces another person to have sex.  In most rapes, the victim knows the attacker.
     The force used in rape can take many forms including:
            Not listening when the person says no.
            Physical force, such as overpowering the person or using a weapon.
            Emotional coercion, such as threats.
            Having sex when someone is too drunk or high to consent.
     If someone says "I was raped," the most important thing you can do is to believe the rape happened!

Offer support and safety.
     Offer to listen if your friend wants to talk.
     Help explore options.  Your friend will need to decide about medical attention, counseling and whether to call the police.
     Support whatever decisions your friend makes.  There is no right or wrong way to cope with a sexual assault.

Encourage your friend to get medical attention.
     If the rape just occurred, encourage your friend to go to a hospital or doctor right away, before showering or changing clothes.
     A doctor, nurse or other health care provider can check for injuries that might not be obvious.  They can give your friend medication that will prevent pregnancy, and they can check for sexually transmitted diseases.
     They will also collect evidence should your friend decide to press charges.

Encourage your friend to seek counseling.
     Immediately after a rape, calling a rape or crisis hotline can help your friend deal with the crime.
     Rape crisis numbers are usually listed in the local phone book.  Or call the operator or directory assistance.
     In the months or years after a rape, ongoing counseling may also help.

Encourage your friend to report the attack.
     To report the attack, call your local police.  Or if you are at school, talk to your counselor, an assistant principal, or the school resource officer.
     There are many issues to be considered when deciding whether to call the police.  A rape crisis counselor can help your friend sort through those issues.
     Reporting the crime and pressing charges may help a person feel empowered after a rape.

Offer to stay with your friend.
     Your friend may not want to be alone.
     Offer to stay with your friend or ask if he or she would like to stay with you.
     Assure your friend that the rape is not his or her fault.
     No matter what the circumstances, rape is never the victim's fault.

Be ready to help with the long-term healing.
     It can take a long time for a person to heal emotionally after a rape.  Some people are strongly affected for a few months, others for years.
     Help your friend make decisions about counseling and support that will help with the healing process.
     Do not expect the person to just "get on" with life.

Take care of your emotional needs.
     Knowing that someone you care about has been assaulted is shocking and scary.  You may need to talk to a counselor or friend about your feelings too.

Remember that the most important thing you can do for someone who has been raped is to believe it happened and to be a friend.